It's Not 'What If' But 'What Now'

So this is blog number 30. And it's 10 years since I was 30. Everything was so much different back then. The Husband and I were having serious fun (and conversation), there were no children, minimal responsibilities and life seemed so much more, well, carefree I suppose. I don't mind growing older but growing up is another story. I am just getting my act together at the point when my body and energy levels are falling apart.

I suggested yesterday that it might have made more sense to have had children in my teens, that way I would be done by now. But I wouldn't want to be one of those people who discover their lost youth in their 40s. I had a great life B.C. (before children) and I wouldn't change a thing if I'm honest. Except to maybe not have had children - ha ha only joking (but think of the holidays and the lie-ins! It's tempting, isn't it?). So the thing is, I am washing my hands of the past. It's a good place to visit from time to time but I've decided to get over the craving to live there.

The new policy at the Ministry Of Mum is to LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Embrace what is happening now, instead of planning for the future or looking with nostalgia at the past. Yes be in the moment - stop striving and give into the now! I'm hoping it will free me of regret and fear.

So I've been conducting a few experiments:

- I have been giving serious thought to getting a dog. An idea which The Husband says is ridiculous, he reckons I can't cope with three children never mind a dog but what does he know.

- I am letting The Toddler dawdle and dally when we're out and about. It's maddeningly boring but I'm hoping it will teach me to enjoy the here and now. (Except he always likes backwards direction the best, this might take me some time).

- I am going to buy things immediately instead of dreaming about owning them. The fact I have no money is not going to deter me, it's essential to my new way of life. But I must mention that this experiment is specifically limited to clothes for me and does not include stuff for the kids or The Husband.

- I am trying to say YES. I whinge about the weather, about sleep, about The Husband, about being skint, but most of all I whinge about my children. So instead I am going to stop fobbing off the kids and learn to say 'Yes' instead. (I'm hoping that the few minutes of playtime with them is an investment for half an hour of relaxation for me).

The new family administration is going well, so far so good. Everybody seems happier with me living in the now. The Husband is not convinced, he thinks it will only be another week before things revert back to the norm. He says moaning about the present is part of my makeup. More reasons to consider that dog. Having a dampener on the carpet is surely better than a dampener on my new regime.