They're Sure Housework Won't Kill You, But Why Take The Risk?

I don't mind being referred to as a 'Stay At Home Mum' but I will punch anybody who calls me a 'Housewife'. This implies that I keep house and tidy up when my life is dedicated to the challenge of never ever lifting a finger. I belong to the Do Little Not Often School of Housework. I know it's not the best way but with three young children, a VIP Husband, a cat and a blog, something has to give - and with me, it's the housework. Apart from the odd bit of washing up, I pretty much get away with doing nothing. I've just read a quote "It's not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing" and I can assure you that every time I do wash up, I put in much dedication and gusto. There is a lesson about life to be learned from this I'm sure.

Our house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. I am not going to vacuum until Dyson makes one I can pleasurably ride on. I avoid all forms of arts & crafts as I can't stand the clear-up involved. I will leave birthday cards up for as long as possible because taking them down surely means dusting. I am five years behind in my ironing. Cleaning a house while the children still live here is a pointless activity.

To be honest, The Husband does more than his fair share of housework. But I have to keep it under control because The Husband has the notion that everything he does is very very important. Before long he will be hiring a Cleaning PA, writing Powerpoint presentations on Sweeping and flying off to Housework Conferences in Las Vegas. So it's better all round if he just sticks to weekend hoovering.

My theory is that if it doesn't smell, if you can still see your face in it, if it's not crawling and if you can still eat it then don't clean it. I feel okay about wasting my life hanging out with The Toddler but I am determined not to waste it through housework.

So no, please don't refer to me as 'Housewife'. Desperate, yes, but certainly not Housewife.