CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Thank F**K For Father Christmas

I hate to admit it, but the children have been really good so far this week. Which is a bit rubbish because I don't get much blog material. Unfortunately it's not down to my fantastic parenting skills but rather because I went onto Portable North Pole and sent them a message from Father Christmas. The beauty of this website is that you can input if your children have been a bit naughty and the areas where they need to improve. And it works! My kids have been mesmerised and have taken on board everything that Father Christmas told them. They are trying really hard to please and ten days respite is mind-blowing for this tired mother.
But my question is this - what happens when Christmas is over and they have had all the presents that they wished for? (Except in my house they'll get about half the presents - The Husband hates spending his millions on bits of plastic and The Tomboy has asked for really weird stuff like a bleeding Dracula bag). Can I expect the same mind control from the Easter Bunny?
Father Christmas was definitely invented by a parent because he's such a fantastic way to brainwash your kids into behaving. I've scared the living daylights out of mine by saying that Father Christmas is watching their every move and I'm loving the results. However the Inventor must have had pretty well behaved children if he thought that Father Christmas was enough. After the Easter Bunny, I'm a bit short on ideas. And what's gonna happen when the kids wise up in a couple of years, how will I keep control then?
Suggestions please, on a Christmas card. x

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