Breeds of Mothers (part one)

Went to the farm today because it's a good place to go where I don't have to have too much to do with the children. Except The Toddler kept going near the goslings and getting hissed at by Mama Goose so I had to intervene before there was an incident.

Noticed that there are many Pedigree Mums out there having a lovely time interacting with their kids. And I was really the only Mongrel Mum who saw it as a break and an opportunity to get some 'me' time.

I come across many Pedigree Mums and it's so refreshing when I find a mum who thinks the way I do. For example, a mum approached me the other day to ask if I had managed to ascertain why the children hadn't done their spellings at school. I was like "oh haven't they? what, it's their day for spellings???" and she looked at me with such disdain. I felt totally guilty at having so little interest in the day-to-day schooling until I took The Toddler to a baby group and said to someone "God I don't know why I am here, I can't stand children" and she replied "Me neither, I hate it". And so I breathe a great sigh of relief! How great to meet someone who looks at motherhood the way I do.

Don't get me wrong, I like being a mum but I want to retain a sense of SELF. These mini conversations prove to me that I'M NOT ALONE in not wanting my world to revolve around the children and for my identity to be Their Mother. To find other mums who think like me is necessary to my existence. I couldn't survive on my own!!!

There's a new film out called 'Motherhood' starring Uma Thurman and it's done really badly at the box office. Whereas 'Sex And The City' does amazing. My point exactly - there are many of us out there who want a piece of designer clothes, sex chat, A list gossip and fantasy - why go to see a movie about the groundhog-day life we are living????

It's funny though the perceptions I have of other mums and the perceptions they have of me. My Northern friend asked "Do you have one of those mums in the playground who wears Ugg boots and nice clothes?" and I was astounded to say "Yeah! That's me!". She saw that type of mum as an Alpha female, totally in control. When the truth is I dress the way I dress to lift my low self-esteem but am sooo Beta female. If I turned up at school wearing joggers with greasy hair because I couldn't be arsed to make an effort, then that would be a fast downward spiral to losing the very piece of me that I am desperately trying to keep.

Does this make any sense? I have just had a bottle of beer and I'm feeling a bit lashed. I'm booze blogging ha ha.

I got chatting to one of the dads the other week at the park and I was moaning and groaning about the Dark Side of Motherhood and he said "Gosh I didn't realise you were one of us. I thought you were an Earth Mother". I was FLOORED. I've never baked a crumb or made a craft in the whole of my life!

So I got to thinking about the different breeds of mothers that are out there. There are many categories & sub-categories and I'll write more about that later (real meaning - there is something good on the telly and I can't be bothered to blog anymore). However I've decided mothers can be divided into Pedigree and Mongrel groups. Me? Oh I'm definitely Mongrel and Proud.

To quote Anne Enright "...Meanwhile I am nice to a whole range of people I wasn't bothered with before - doctors, teachers, shop assistants, and above all other mothers, whether or not they are my type."