I mentioned this to The Husband earlier and he laughed it off (possibly panicking at the thought of social services) and said I have a great maternal instinct. He meant it in a 'lioness protecting her pride' sort of way. When I have to pay out fifty quid to the plumber who has found pencils shoved down the sink, when The Toddler wakes up during Desperate Housewives, when I get asked two minutes into a car journey 'Are We There Yet????' - yeah I agree, my reactions to the kids can certainly be instinctual and definitely animalistic.
OOhhhhh you know what I'm talking about. We've all had those vomit-in-the-hair, how-long-til-bedtime, smash-your-toy-to-pieces, Husband-come-back-NOW moments.
Then I realised something. My non-maternal instinct is very much part of my maternal instinct. I say horrid things to the kids only because they can wind me up like no other human on this earth. I never fully ditch them in the supermarket when they are kicking off. I only ever smash the toy and throw the pieces out the window because they are bashing each other. I experience such humiliation and frustration because they are my children. All of this is surely deep rooted in my maternal love - right????