Tuesday, 22 February 2011

The Talk

The Husband has introduced something more scarier than the special love. It is worthy of a Stephen King type title so I have called it The Talk. It is when he catches me unawares and starts quizzing me about what I am doing in life, when am I getting a job and what the hell am I spending his money on.

The Husband is not interested in excuses. He says he deals in fact not fiction. He does not see that it is hard enough just being me. He cares not for my blog. The Husband can sometimes be a w**ker.

The Talk always comes when I least expect it. Like when I am just about to dry my hair or put a coffee on. And most often when I am sending a text. The Talk always starts the same way. The Husband's tone is softly softly as he says "So have you been thinking about getting a job?". At which point I feel a shiver pass over me and realise there is no way to escape, and believe me, I have tried. Even the special love does not trump The Talk.

Oh The Husband is good, he is very good. He should have been a lawyer in the OJ Simpson case. He can find faults and loopholes in every sentence I say. So much so that the kids are even thinking that I should go back to work. And damn that survey in America that said your children are not effected by a mother who works.

The Talk almost always ends in tears as I have been questioned and argued with and cross-examined within an inch of my life. My tears are tears of gratitude that it is over. I am a victim of The Talk Syndrome, which resembles Stockholm Syndrome in that I am in love with my Captor and express positive feelings towards him that are so crazy in light of the trauma he has put me through. When he is not giving me The Talk, I mistake his lack of pressure as an act of kindness.

Unfortunately The Talk is here to stay. Until I sort my life out or get divorced. In the meantime, does anyone know of a support group for victims of The Talk?


  1. My husband also does the talk. But he does not do the softly softly approach like the lovely kenny, kenny, kenny. His is more the jump in, say exactly what you mean spproach, like, Jo, when the f**k are you going to get a proper job and stop farting about with 15 cleaning jobs. I just love it when he does that. He is so masterful. Makes we so want to go back to work 9 to 5.

  2. OMG .... this is me all over! I also have 3 children (all girlies!) try to juggle my Bracelet business (Just Like Pandora), my Ironing business (Ironing Fairies), organise The Kids, make sure The Husband is (fairly) happy & do The Housework plus find some time to renovate our house only to be asked 'when are you going to get a Proper Job that earns Proper Money'??? Mmmmm Childcare for 3 anyone??!!!! I do have a small light at the end of the proverbial tunnel though, in the form of a friend who needs their 'admin/accounts' sorting and keeping on top of so they can actually run their business properly (I was a Credit Control Manager in my 'previous' life lol!!). Sorry for the rant ... you just made me think 'this is me' and it's nice to think I'm not the only one out there! xxxxxxxxx