Ah so the summer of love is over and everything returns to normal. The kids are back to school. The Husband is back to running the country. And I am back to tearing my hair out.
Actually I haven't been totally honest with you about the summer holidays. It really wasn't all peachy. For example, a friend and I counted the amount of times our collective five children cried for no reason between the hours of 7am - 1pm and the answer was sixteen. We gave up counting after it got well into double figures. It was like a crying orchestra.
Anyway it's back to life, back to reality as the new school year starts. I am already paranoid in the playground. My new philosophy is trying to be non-bitchy but it's really hard especially when one of the mums said to me "Do you really allow your daughter to dress like that?". Everyone is commenting on how I seem to be turning into an Earth Mother but I'm insisting that it's just that I've let myself go since getting the dog. Gucci sandals, beads and flowery maxi dresses don't really go with walking through fields and washing off fox poo. I have been wearing the same pairs of shorts since last Tuesday but I am most definitely not baking cupcakes and making paper dolls.
I realised life was returning back to normal yesterday when everybody was getting on my nerves. Don't tell The Husband but The Dog was even doing my head in - she likes to chew shoes and up til now it's been quite funny because she always chooses The Husband's trainers. But yesterday she ripped a piece out of my Ugg boots and now it's not so funny anymore.
The Husband made some comment about it always being about me. Which it is but I didn't think I was that obvious. And I certainly don't want him thinking that. I want him to feel GUILTY AS HELL that he goes to work and has adult conversations and free time on the train while I'm stuck at home trying to stop World War Three from kicking off over Who Has The Most Jelly Tots In Their Packet.
The Tomboy since going back to school has started crying over absolutely bloody everything. Which is probably in the Top Three Things Of What Gets On My Nerves The Most to the point where she can have half her arm hanging off and I am way past caring. I explained to her about The Boy Who Cried Wolf and she said "Well what about The Mummy Who Didn't Have A Heart". Mmmmm maybe she's got a point.
The Tweenager has become a hardcore hip hop rapstar since going into Year 3 and, what the hell, I'm just gonna go with it. He might end up selling a multi-platinum album and having him being super-rude to me is a small price to pay for the riches which are heading for my bank account.
So you'll be happy to hear that my blog is on its way to returning back to normal. I must have been possessed over the summer by the Spirit Of An Almost Happy Mother who has been well and truly exorcised by the regular routine of Smith family life. Welcome back!
Sunday, 5 September 2010
Thursday, 2 September 2010
The Blog Is Back In Town
It's the end of the summer holidays and I am back. For a whole month I was computer-less which actually wasn't such a bad thing because it forced me to give my full attention to the children. And you know what, I never ever thought I would say this, but I am a little sad that the holiday is over. But don't tell anyone, I don't want my reputation being ruined. I don't want people to think for a minute that I actually enjoy hanging out with the kids.
So speaking of the kids, I'll give you a quick update.
The Tweenager has decided that he is a "gangster". Which in his seven year old world means wearing his underpants above his jeans and being as rude as possible to his mum. He has also become Mr Insecure again (and no, he doesn't read my blog so he has no reason to be insecure). I am finally beginning to understand that he is never going to be a 'fly by the seat of his pants' kinda guy. The summer holidays freaked him out purely because he couldn't handle having no plan and no structure. And in addition it was so overwhelming for him that we could spend the whole day at Disneyland, eating sweets, swimming and doing all the things he loves but he would still ask the question "What are we doing next and at what time?". The Tweenager has also hit a red book milestone by using the F-word for the first time. Which just happened to be when we were in Lidl with my parents and he said "When the fuck are we getting out of here?". Uncanny, really, because it was exactly what I was thinking.
The Tomboy continues to wish she was a boy and has actually been lovely this holiday. Because her mother (ie me) has finally accepted her for what she is. And it's a situation which is making her very happy. I am allowing her to go out dressed in a West Ham football kit carrying a toy gun and telling everyone she is called Sam. I didn't plan to have a daughter who wishes she was a boy but neither did Angelina Jolie, and if it's okay for the Jolie-Pitts then it's okay for the Smiths. And The Tomboy likes me at the moment for giving her the freedom to be who she is so I'm feeling a bit puffed up that I'm winning one parenting battle.
The Toddler is starting to talk and order me around and because he is my baby I am letting him. Quite often he has crisps for breakfast and chocolate biscuits for lunch.
And The Dog. The Dog is my new obsession. I was getting really freaked out by my seemingly small life but The Dog has changed all that. I've been pretty happy this holiday in the great outdoors with kids and dogs and English weather.
God I sound like I've been in therapy.
Well maybe I have.
Maybe what I've been needing all along is a good dose of my children to consider I can still have fun. And a good dose of anti-depressants to make me believe it.
So speaking of the kids, I'll give you a quick update.
The Tweenager has decided that he is a "gangster". Which in his seven year old world means wearing his underpants above his jeans and being as rude as possible to his mum. He has also become Mr Insecure again (and no, he doesn't read my blog so he has no reason to be insecure). I am finally beginning to understand that he is never going to be a 'fly by the seat of his pants' kinda guy. The summer holidays freaked him out purely because he couldn't handle having no plan and no structure. And in addition it was so overwhelming for him that we could spend the whole day at Disneyland, eating sweets, swimming and doing all the things he loves but he would still ask the question "What are we doing next and at what time?". The Tweenager has also hit a red book milestone by using the F-word for the first time. Which just happened to be when we were in Lidl with my parents and he said "When the fuck are we getting out of here?". Uncanny, really, because it was exactly what I was thinking.
The Tomboy continues to wish she was a boy and has actually been lovely this holiday. Because her mother (ie me) has finally accepted her for what she is. And it's a situation which is making her very happy. I am allowing her to go out dressed in a West Ham football kit carrying a toy gun and telling everyone she is called Sam. I didn't plan to have a daughter who wishes she was a boy but neither did Angelina Jolie, and if it's okay for the Jolie-Pitts then it's okay for the Smiths. And The Tomboy likes me at the moment for giving her the freedom to be who she is so I'm feeling a bit puffed up that I'm winning one parenting battle.
The Toddler is starting to talk and order me around and because he is my baby I am letting him. Quite often he has crisps for breakfast and chocolate biscuits for lunch.
And The Dog. The Dog is my new obsession. I was getting really freaked out by my seemingly small life but The Dog has changed all that. I've been pretty happy this holiday in the great outdoors with kids and dogs and English weather.
God I sound like I've been in therapy.
Well maybe I have.
Maybe what I've been needing all along is a good dose of my children to consider I can still have fun. And a good dose of anti-depressants to make me believe it.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Time Out
Not forgotten my blog! We have got a lodge for the summer with no internet and only four tv channels which is forcing me to enjoy nature and (would you believe it) my family. There will be a Lodge Blog coming soon so do not fret!
xxx
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