CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Saturday 10 April 2010

The Pond and The Plagues

So I think I am being punished by a Higher Being for writing some naughty things in my blog. There appears to be a Plague Of Tadpoles in our garden pond. Which I suppose is better than a Plague Of Toddlers.
We were very vigilant and grown-up when we moved into this house. We realised that the pond, no matter how pretty, was a potential danger to children. It might have come in handy from time to time, but the responsible parents in us told us to put a fence around it (this and constant nagging from my mother). However the way the fence is built allows for a little gap around the top end of the pond, that has never been a problem until now. The little gap has obviously never met The Toddler. Who today discovered the little gap and will try everything to make sure I am looking the other way as he squeezes his rather plump body through it. Not unlike Alice going through the rabbit hole. But unfortunately that which is a Wonderland to The Toddler is in fact a Dangerland to The Mother - not that he cares. And if he falls in, there is NO WAY I am going after him - I am far too glamorous to be covered in tadpoles and pond slime.
Before The Toddler's discovery, I was able to pop into the house to grab something or indeed go for a wee, knowing that he was safely playing outside. Now I can't even pop indoors to send a text as The Toddler has suddenly developed a sixth sense that tells him I am absent and therefore makes a beeline for the gap.
Just when I thought life with The Toddler couldn't get any worse, he finds another button to push.
The Husband assures me that tomorrow he will go to Homebase to buy wood or chicken wire to close up the gap. Which I am sure he will do. But then the wood or chicken wire will sit in the shed long after The Ten Plagues have been and gone. And I will be stuck in the garden forever more, unable to text and needing a wee.

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