As if I haven't got enough on my plate, The Dog has cut her paw and because she has been licking it, it's become swollen so she has to wear a little boot. Three children and a dog with a little boot is much more than this mum can manage. The Dog, of course, hates the little boot and everytime my back is turned will rip it off and discard it, never to be seen again. I have already spent my entire child benefit on little boots. I could, if I was a stronger person, put a collar on her to make her look like Queen Elizabeth I, which will also stop her destroying the boot but I am way too soft. So instead my days are spent replacing and fitting the little boot and coming up with ideas such as The Toddler's sock and The Tomboy's glove as replacements.
So you can see that I am feeling rather stressed.
On top of all of this I seem to be attracting Good Mothers at the moment - the mums that bake fairy cakes and label clothes. I am positive that these mothers exist simply TO MAKE ME FEEL EVEN CRAPPER. Try as I might, I will never ever be able to have things in alphabetical order and own a book called Fun Games With Children.
I commented on this to a friend of mine who said: "Well I'm not making fairy cakes at the moment."
I cried: "At the moment? I don't bake ever".
(Nor can I keep a little boot on a dog, I wanted to add.)
I told my friend: "I am not the mother that I thought I would be."
To which her reply was: "Well maybe you're the mother you need to be".
I will take comfort in that. Until I see a Good Mother eating a fairy cake whilst walking her dog wearing a little boot.