I have been loving The Tweenager lately. For about a week he has been my favourite. Which doesn't happen very often. No I haven't had a lobotomy, we have just been bonding for once. It's totally to do with the fact that his gangsta attitude is laying dormant and he has been sweet & funny & cuddly. He has let me kiss him, count his freckles and hold his hand. And I've been loving it and savouring it because he is nearly 8 so it's probably the last time that I will ever have this time with him.
His change in behaviour is all down to a game on my laptop called Bin Weevils. Bin Weevils is a kids online virtual game where you can create your own virtual pet, play games and chat to friends. Now I know I am pretty much anti computer games but this is, at least, semi educational and it gives me two hours a day peace. Plus if The Tweenager gets his daily fix, he rewards me with love. I even earned extra Tweenager points by buying him a card in Sainsburys which lets him get into extra rooms. It was a fiver but it's cheaper than the thousands it will cost me in future therapy otherwise.
So it's all been going swimmingly - that is, until today. The Tweenager counts the seconds until 9.30am when he is allowed on Bin Weevils for an hour. However this morning he was unable to log on. His account, we've been informed, has been permanently blocked due to bad behaviour. Neither of us could understand this. It's not like he's been playing Call Of Duty. I said to him what could this mean to which he shrugged his shoulders. There then unravelled a series of revelations that's worthy of a Miss Marple episode.
9.30am: The Tweenager denies all knowledge
9.37am: The Tweenager tells me that he can type in words so the Bin Weevil grows a speech bubble and appears to speak these words
9.46am: The Tweenager mentions that his friend may have suggested they type in something not appropriate
9.53am: The Tweenager admits that his friend told him a few naughty words
10.01am: The Tweenager reveals that his friend told him some swear words and The Tweenager typed these words in for his Bin Weevil to speak.
I'm unsure what to do as I've already written a cross email to Mr Bin Weevil complaining that my son's account has been blocked and I look like an idiot now. Plus I'm going to have to exercise some kind of punishment by banning all computer access for the next 24hours. Which means I don't get to watch crap telly while he plays games. And I can't get hold of The Husband to transfer the role of Disciplining Parent onto him.
It appears The Tweenager's gangsta attitude hasn't been dormant after all.
It maybe hasn't been directed at me, but it's certainly been appearing online.