The definition of Tweenager is "a pre-teenager usually aged 10-12", but the Ministry Of Mum Dictionary extends this bracket to start from age 6. Anybody who has ever been a mother to a 6 or 7 year old Know-It-All will understand where I am coming from. If it's difficult for him being a Tweenager, then he should try being the parent of one. It is certainly no picnic. He is growing fast and I am ageing even quicker.
The Eldest One has, without a doubt, turned from age six to sixteen in a matter of days. I think he is ageing in dog years. By the time I figure him out, he will go and then turn age seven going on seventeen (which I've heard is even worse). I noticed the change after school the other day - the conversation went like this:
ME (enthusiastically): "Hello darling, did you have a lovely day?"
HIM: "Errrrr mmmmmmm did you buy me Match Attax?"
ME: "You could say Hello first, that would be nice."
HIM (shouting in moany voice, pulling a face): "Oh well hello then Mummm!"
ME: "How was your day?"
HIM: "Are we going to the park? Can I have a friend over? Oh no it's not stupid swimming is it...I don't want to go swimming. It's bor-ing. You always make me do things I don't like and I'm tired!"
Funny - he is suddenly too tired to help me with The Toddler or do his homework but never too tired to play football or watch telly or hang out with his mates.
The problem with the Tweenager is that he is just like me as a teenager. He thinks he knows everything about life but really he is just at the start of it. He thinks everything is against him when infact it's all for him. But the main issue is the rudeness. Rudeness comes in various forms such as back chat, bad manners and sarcasm. He has an answer for everything and always has to have the last word. You can say something simple like "Oh it's Saturday" and he will invariably answer "No it's not".
I should take some comfort in the fact that he is only like this for me. If he is at a friend's house, he is usually very well behaved and there are no problems at school. He says he has to let off steam somewhere and I say can't you do this after Dad has come home. He is classic Kevin & Perry: To me: "Owwww that is soo unfair! I'm not your slave!" and to a friend's mum: "Yes Mrs Patterson, no thank you Mrs Patterson".
The Tomboy has started to mimic The Tweenager and I'm sure it will only be a matter of months before The Toddler follows suit. Which means I'll then have to get in on the act. And if you run into The Husband who says I'm already half way there - long lie ins, secret drinking, social smoking and complaining about life don't believe a word of it. He's sooo bor-ing and that is sooo unfair...