Friday, 11 June 2010

The Suckyasaurus

Much in the way Dr Frankenstein created his monster, I have spawned a Suckyasaurus (pronounced suck-eeee-a-saurus). Way before the dinosaurs seen in that classic movie 'Jurassic Park' (don't you just love a T-Rex?), there was a period called the Triassic, about 245 million years ago. The first dinosaurs such as Coelophosis appeared as well as mammals, crocodiles and frogs. There was also a much feared reptile called The Triassic Toddler, also known as the Suckyasaurus. By some bizarre freak of nature, millions of years after this dinosaur's extinction, I appear to have given birth to one.
The conduct of the Suckyasaurus can be detailed as below. It appears by the patterns in his behaviour that he is mostly akin to the Triceratops.
1) He is mostly a plant eater, concentrating mainly on leaves, grass and pond debris.
2) He walks around slowly, eats and wees/poos at regular intervals.
3) He is occasionally violent - lashing out with much force, pushing objects out of his way and throwing himself to the ground in rage. This aggressive behaviour usually comes from the need to feed or sleep.
4) He can communicate with other Triassic Toddlers in a manner not understood by the mature human eye.
5) Being two-legged, he lies down to sleep.
However what distinguishes the Suckyasaurus from other creatures is the unique way he manages to cling to his mother at all costs and cannot cope with any kind of separation. He is also known to have a soggy muslin square 23 hours of the day and wails "Maaamaaa" for the remaining hour.
The Husband appears to believe that I have created this monster, that he is not so much a derivative of nature but rather nurture. The Husband's research into paleontology suggests that it is the mother who encourages such sucky decorum. Being the last baby of the family, it is typical of the mother to shun any form of independence shown by the Suckyasaurus.
Hmph! The Husband is definitely a Dinobore. I think it's time to tell the story of The Husband as a young boy, pretending to be a T-Rex by shortening his arms and chasing the neighbourhood cats, growling and roaring.
The dinosaur gene must have come from him.

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