Any mother who has ever had an active 16 month old and some form of a life is either a) superwoman b) married to superman c) lying
I should have clocked the warning signs from the minute I was wheeled up to the ward after giving birth. At a few hours old he had no intention of sleeping and every intention of staying on my nipple and crying, giving no rest whatsoever.
I get no SPACE or ME TIME!!!!!!!
When you have a Toddler you also lose all capacity to have a grown up conversation. I can't have an opinion on the war in afganistan however I can sure tell you what offers are on nappys this week in a half conversation sort of way.
And then there was the time when I needed a poo right in the middle of feeding him. He hadn't fed in a while and I felt guilty, so what did I do? He came with me, you can picture it. And since then every time I go to the loo The Toddler comes too. He is currently going through his 'toilet phase' too so most times when I am weeing, he has his hand stuck under the seat.
All the things I have taken for granted such as cleaning teeth, making dinner, going on my email have turned into a military operation. Juice? check. Snack? check. Clean nappy? check. And still the minute my mind goes onto something other than him, The Toddler makes sure he is on top of the telly or falling down the stairs.
I'm desperately trying to get him into watching telly - I've tried everything from kids shows to Relocation Relocation to Jeremy Kyle. He is having none of it.
My favourite part of the day is when The Toddler goes to sleep at night. It makes coping with the other two something I can finally deal with.
There is part of me which feels sorry for The Toddler. He doesn't have record of him reaching any milestones and there are no photos of him older than three months. If he was kidnapped I couldn't provide the police with any pictures to identify him. However there is a much larger part of me that feels sorry for me and that will surely not change until he is eighteen.