CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Wednesday 22 September 2010

Happy Days

Oh I forgot to mention that I put the kids to bed at 5 o'clock the other day. The Tomboy said "Stupid Mummy" about seven thousand times and The Tweenager was refusing to do his spellings. They were both being what can only be described as Absolutely Bloody Revolting, so I put them to bed. And don't give me that Supernanny bulls**t about taking toys off them, naughty step etc etc because IT DOESN'T WORK. Well, on my kids anyway. They don't give a monkeys about anything enough for it to be taken away and their behaviour to change. I even took away everything The Tomboy owns from her bedroom but she didn't care. So I put them to bed.
I allowed them back downstairs at 5.30pm for dinner and they so thought they'd got away with it. Imagine their surprise when they finished eating and I said "Right, that's back to bed again now thank you!".
It seemed to work as punishment because they hated it. But the mistake I made was forgetting to forewarn The Husband, who came bouncing in at seven with the bright idea of them all taking the dog for a walk to the shop to get sweets. And The Husband at home time always supersedes The Mum who has been dealing with the crap for the past two hours.


Anyway, The Husband has officially been off now for two days and, believe it or not, everything is still working in the world - there has been no big bang or millennium crash. He is doing his two favourite things 1) Jobs In The Garden 2) Going To The Tip, in between taking conference calls and receiving emails.
Of course he has been getting on my nerves.
Yesterday, for example, he had to measure some curtains for me while I was in the shop ready to buy. He knew they were for The Tomboy's room but did a completely different window so when I brought them home, they were totally the wrong size. This might seem of little importance, but in my rock n roll life it was a Big Deal and utterly warranted my anger. (Ah did I mention that I am finally allowing The Tomboy to have a football bedroom - it's goodbye everything pink and pretty).

The Husband says that the time he spends working on his days off is nothing compared to the amount of hours I spend speaking to my friends.
I say work is his only friend.

So I have been doing things without The Toddler like getting an eye test and power walking with The Dog. Keeping out of The Husband's way on his time off is the best technique for spending the day without squabbling.
Our family seems to work best when everyone is off doing their thing. Can't wait for him to go back to work.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I think that sending children to bed is the ulltimate punishment and it has saved me in the past from a lot of far more rediculous and unrealistic punishments. I'm all for it, I stick to my guns, my husband would not dare to question my decision when I have my thunder face on but then when Ive calmed down I am racked with guilt and self doubt, and now I have discovered your blog my life will be perfect. Each time I feel like a rubbish mummy, I can comfort myself in the fact that I am not the only one who feels like they are not going to win a mum of the year award
    And by the way, avoid going back to work at all costs, I have to go to work and there are one hundred things I would rather be doing

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