The Husband is supposed to have all this week off but he informs me last night that today is, in fact, a "Flexible Day". Now in my years of knowing The Husband I have heard him say many important things like "My diary changes daily" and "It's going down faster than a sinking souffle" but I have never ever come across "Flexible Day" before.
My take on it is this - basically he has got the day off, but he can't stand to be away from work. He has got to think quickly because he's already told me that it's a holiday. You have never seen anybody back-track quite like The Husband. This is his back-track 3 step plan:
1) Deny everything.
2) Blame the other person for misunderstanding.
3) Admit there might have been some ambiguity but this is what was really meant.
While following this plan, The Husband comes up with the term "Flexible Day". Meaning that he can do whatever he likes work-wise but it's still really a holiday.
This is what actually happens:
The Husband tells me this morning that he can take the children to school because he is on a "Flexible Day". But because I dare to stay in bed for twenty seconds more than normal, everything (of course) goes slightly disarray. The Tomboy is still in bed at 8.30am. The Tweenager has lost his school shoes and his book bag. The Toddler is naked in the garden.
Somehow The Husband gets them to school on time. He then goes to work.
I am stuck at home, as usual, with The Toddler.
At tea-time he informs me that he will be home by 6.30pm (half an hour earlier than normal).
The Tomboy has a hissy fit about nothing and tips the entire contents of the Lego box on the floor upstairs. It is a Lego lake.
The Dog jumps up against the side while I am dealing with The Tomboy and eats half the dinner.
The Tweenager spills juice all over his homework.
The Husband arrives home at 7.20pm.
As I sit here writing I think, well, at least I didn't have to do the school run this morning. And that is on my list of Very Best Things You Can Do For Me. So I suppose if I was more open minded I could consider that the "Flexible Day" wasn't too bad - but hey, I'm just not that flexible.