CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Wednesday 15 September 2010

Tomboy Tales

Just when I thought The Tomboy was settling into school (well it's only been a year), the Teaching Assistant had a word with me about her allegedly spitting at another child. Now this is a difficult one for me in the World Of Parenting - am I supposed to discipline her for A) something that happened five hours ago in school and B) an incident which she opposes ever happened. The Tomboy will, without fail, categorically deny any event which involves her misbehaving, so that point doesn't really phase me. But what am I supposed to do when it took place hours before when I wasn't even present? The answer was simple - I asked her who the child was that she was supposed to have 'assaulted' and since it was a kid that I am not particularly fond of, I let her off. The Tomboy isn't always kind, she's not great at sharing, she can't control her temper, she never tells the truth but she is a good judge of character.

The Tomboy does lie an awful lot. She told me that Justin Bieber had gone into her class to tell them that he is going to perform at the Halloween Disco. She blames everything on The Toddler or The Dog. And plenty of other falsehoods beside. I googled searched Kids Who Lie and there is a five year old in New Zealand who is decidedly better than she is at not telling the truth. Which pissed me off a bit because if she's going to do it, then I want her to be the very best at it.

She is also very good at Going Mental. You all know the one about The Tweenager's new bike. Well she pulled a blinder yesterday as well. She got wind that The Tweenager had been invited to his mates house for tea. All hell broke lose at the school gate. Her jacket was flung on the floor. Her book bag ended up in the road. Her water bottle was launched into someone's garden. It was Tomboy Theatricals at their very best. And since it was home time, there were many spectators - I only wish I had sold programmes and popcorn.

The main thing I have noticed recently about The Tomboy is that she is great when she has boys come home but horrid when girls are over. She's a little butch (sic). The girls will invariably go home crying whilst the boys will emerge covered in warpaint after the 'best army game ever'.

I don't want The Tomboy to change any time in the near future. I enjoy the complication of her. Especially when she comes up with some classics - I mentioned again about the boy who cried wolf and she said "Don't mention that again, there are no wolves around here, we're in England remember."

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